We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize