Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
