singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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