Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
