this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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