Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
