I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
