I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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