so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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