I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
FUCK WHALES
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
