so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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