Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize