Have you finally orgasmed yet?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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