Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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