You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
