my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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