Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
