my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
