He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
