I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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