tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
