i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
