She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
