That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
