My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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