He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
