Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
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