I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
