ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize