it was like his penis was on wheels.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
