I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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