Got a toothbrush?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
