You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
