At least make sure they are 18
Why
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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