She announced her abortion via fbk
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
