Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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