Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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