Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
