Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
