? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
