I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
are you so shy because you have an std?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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