I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
