her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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