Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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