I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize