so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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