Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
