There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
