You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
