What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
my poor anus
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
