No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
