So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?