Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.

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  (203): hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother. http://tfl.nu/cqrd
  Replies (4) Good night (925) Bad night (3801)
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  (714): View more from California

  I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.

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  (714): I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy. http://tfl.nu/mwni
  Replies (11) Good night (1529) Bad night (3585)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.

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  (440): made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is. http://tfl.nu/etmn
  Replies (21) Good night (5890) Bad night (776)
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  (760): View more from California

  new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.

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  (760): new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever. http://tfl.nu/8efz
  Replies (33) Good night (774) Bad night (8225)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.

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  (561): We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night. http://tfl.nu/gp7p
  Replies (27) Good night (4069) Bad night (1155)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.

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  (405): No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull. http://tfl.nu/uent
  Replies (16) Good night (4159) Bad night (1190)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.

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  (613): How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me. http://tfl.nu/pw4l
  Replies (8) Good night (1823) Bad night (666)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.

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  (507): We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do. http://tfl.nu/66ti
  Replies (4) Good night (1389) Bad night (641)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr

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  (620): nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr http://tfl.nu/wyqo
  Replies (9) Good night (1560) Bad night (576)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.

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  (541): rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work. http://tfl.nu/d84s
  Replies (3) Good night (840) Bad night (398)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?

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  (303): Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned? http://tfl.nu/51ha
  Replies (0) Good night (876) Bad night (365)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.

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  (734): You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo. http://tfl.nu/r2ob
  Replies (0) Good night (382) Bad night (470)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.

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  (320): Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk. http://tfl.nu/w1jr
  Replies (3) Good night (372) Bad night (754)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."

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  (717): You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina." http://tfl.nu/43rj
  Replies (4) Good night (519) Bad night (204)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.

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  (631): Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014. http://tfl.nu/nszh
  Replies (2) Good night (365) Bad night (322)

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