Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?

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  (203): these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw? http://tfl.nu/m5nm
  Replies (1) Good night (1942) Bad night (1244)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.

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  (703): i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice. http://tfl.nu/s321
  Replies (15) Good night (5384) Bad night (612)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog

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  (732): Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog http://tfl.nu/ui9n
  Replies (61) Good night (713) Bad night (2990)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?

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  (847): How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women? http://tfl.nu/e8g0
  Replies (92) Good night (1501) Bad night (3853)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions

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  (778): I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions http://tfl.nu/u0tu
  Replies (27) Good night (1524) Bad night (3664)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.

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  (515): Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him. http://tfl.nu/tve9
  Replies (14) Good night (5665) Bad night (1339)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?

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  (251): how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her? http://tfl.nu/cyj5
  Replies (23) Good night (1769) Bad night (4166)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave

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  (314): i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave http://tfl.nu/l2ny
  Replies (6) Good night (2314) Bad night (724)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers

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  (484): Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers http://tfl.nu/tvan
  Replies (2) Good night (2207) Bad night (632)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table

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  (952): it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table http://tfl.nu/sh7s
  Replies (5) Good night (1836) Bad night (606)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.

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  (515): I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor. http://tfl.nu/c5bv
  Replies (12) Good night (1647) Bad night (393)
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  (818): View more from California

  He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing

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  (818): He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing http://tfl.nu/62aj
  Replies (5) Good night (1191) Bad night (426)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.

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  (914): I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis. http://tfl.nu/jvao
  Replies (28) Good night (3971) Bad night (683)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.

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  (720): Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me. http://tfl.nu/g5ss
  Replies (3) Good night (601) Bad night (387)
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  (516): View more from New York

  So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.

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  (516): So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two. http://tfl.nu/ti8k
  Replies (0) Good night (352) Bad night (237)

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