please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad