cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
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I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
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I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?