There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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