i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Sext me about skeletons
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize