how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
