We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
