Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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