Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
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Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
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I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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