Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
