high people should be assigned attendants
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
