Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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