just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Let's paint friendship bongs
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
there is puke in my bra ... again
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